A Talk With My Son in Spirit

[Sanjai, my first born, left his world at the age of 23 when he took his own life. His cousin left the same day, and over time, through my connections with his spirit, through different mediums, I learned that this was part of their contract, that they both had gotten the amount of experience they needed to complete their spirit journeys in this plane. Although I was finding myself capable of connecting with much of my family on my own at this point, I was finding him not so readily available, and I wondered why. He came in to explain to me that his spirit had moved on to a higher vibration, you might say, and his energy was not so readily identifiable to me as what i recalled.]

Feb. 3, 2017

SANJAI: I am so sorry that you were so worreid about me, I am fine, I have just been very busy for I am now beginning to learn how to project myself into other realms where I can be of assistance to the inhabitants. I am enjoying this work and feel that I can be useful in this way. It does mean that I am making some changes in my energy pattern and that is the way it is, I am always here if you wnat to talk to me, although I know that you are very well taken care of by Steve and that he loves you and is your best friend and will always be there for you, so you don’t have to worry as you did for so much of your life, trying to care for everybody and nobody to care about you. I hope that you will understand that the love we shared was very precious to me and the time we were together, although so short, was the best time of my life, which is to say, my entire life was very nice for you were always in it. And yes, you did not understand that I always loved you and was always wanting you to just love me as I was and I didn’t know that you did, that you loved me as I was, you just wanted me to be happy and you were so afraid that you could not be there for me that you were the one who thought you had to create an entire school just so I could be the one who was happy and that was pretty strange for in the end I was the one who was happy and you were the one who was sad and that was because you did not know that I was already happy without having to be the one that was so very successful in life that I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I was so happy that I realized my time was no longer well spent just hanging around there and I wanted to go somewhere where I could be of more use to others. That is why I left, I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone, I just wanted to be where I could do something to assist others to find happiness which is what you wanted for me. Now I am happy and you are learning to be happy and then everything will be as it should be, although everything already is as it should be, and this you understand. I am talking like this for I have made a very powerful change in my energy pattern and am now among those who talk like this; we are the ones who are helping you to make the transistion and I am one of them. We are all here for you, everyone of us that you have known and loved in this lifetime and that is the way it is. You will understand more when you are here, so that is why you do not feel my energy so very strongly for I am already among those who talk to you everyday. We are all one and I am one of them and they are one with me and with others, and yes, some are still more accessible to you such as your mother and father and that is because they have chosen to remain in the form that they had while in their earth life, and this is so that others can get assistance in the early stages of their transition. You are wondering what this means for you and Steve and my understanding is that the two of you will be allowed to experience a very beautiful life together and then you shall decide how you want to experience after that. You are having a very hard time understanding much of this and that is all right for I did not understand very much after I transitioned and had to be shown. This is one way of doing it although it is not so common for you are transitioning even before you transition which is funny and then it is not for this is not so odd. You have always wanted to understand how it could be that we are all one and then all many and you did not know how to do that and then you wanted to be the one who could help others and that is why you are being allowed to do this. Don’t worry, you will allow those remaining hurts to be released from your energetic heart and then you will be happier. It is a process and one that we all go through and sometimes it is easier than other times and that is all right for we are all one and that means we are all in this together. We are so very proud of you and all that you have accomplished and want you to know that we are here for you as you continue to make your trnasition which will not be so very difficult and yes you are worried that you will not be able to finish your books and all your work and that is all right for you will see that everything is always as it is and that is all right for you are so very beautiful that I will aways treasure you as my mother in this lifetime and I will never forget that you were the one that did not want me to hurt and so you were the one that tried to help me and I was the one that did not understand and that is all right, for now we are one and we both understand that we love each other and that we do not even understand why we are not together when we are. This is the way it goes. So I am going to let you go for now you know that I am always here talking to you as one of the “committee” as you call it and that is a good enough name for it is what it is. It is a committeee of very beautiful souls who are the ones who are helping you and others to find a way to help the world and this is the way it is. It is not so difficult to understand that we are all in this together and all of us working together is the way that it is. You understand this now. I will always be your son and always love you and so I will kiss you gently and wish you good night. I am here if you need me and you may call on me at will. I am always with ……. and …………….as well and watching over them and helping them to understand how much I love them and how they are such lights in the world. Yes, you are beginning to understand that I am a very different energy than you remember even from when we communicated before after I first transitioned. I have had many experience that have aided me to progress with my transformation into the light and I am now so very happy that you are with Steve for I love him as well as you and want you to understand that he is very happy to be with you for he loves you as do I and that is the way it is. I love you. Good night, Mom.

Steph: Good night, Sanjai. I love you. You are a very beautiful spirit.

Sanjai: And I am pleased that you can feel me and my energy. Yes, I have become much different and it is for the purpose of continuing to grow in spirit and to continue to be the kindest, gentlest expression of love that I can be, which as you know everyone is. And so we are. I love you. Good night my dearest mother. I love you very much.

Steph: Good night, I love you very much.

Sanjai: Take care of yourself, we will meet again, and then we shall all be so happy. All of us together. I love you. Sleep well.