top of page
  • Writer's pictureStephanie Patel

The Committee Has Some Fun with Steph and Steve.

February 3, 2017:

[Hold onto your hats, this is a bit ribald. At this point I was still in such a tender state in my journey, not able to sleep or eat, always a little frightened for I did not understand what was happening, with the voices so very clear, bringing me new information, while my heart energy seems to become so chaotic at times. The Committee (and Steve) were always trying to get me to relax, even as they were helping me understand the painful energies that were being released through the heart, and often they would just make me laugh. This is one such episode when they had lots of fun (and are thanking Steve and I for being good sports about allowing our life stories be used for fodder.) Here they have fun with my identity as Miss Priss, as well as with the idea of sex and the word "fuck", letting us know there is nothing wrong with it all and just enjoying being human. Also, if you catch it, they poke fun at my continual efforts to try to fit this whole adventure into my prior Earth-encapsulated view, where it just refuses to fit.]

[BACKGROUND: The twin-soul relationship is rife with sexual energy, it is the core polarity between man and woman, and it can get pretty intense even when one is outside the physical. I resisted quite a bit, and that is a lot of our story as well. When I was writing the book, I didn't know what to do about that, because I didn't want to mislead others who were setting foot upon that path, but neither did I want to be graphic. Steve also let me know he did not want it put in there, to spare others, so I fudged and called it energy melding, knowing that those who needed to know would understand--hey! Remember we were meeting in the astral, that is, in alternative planes. So this conversation begins with my confusion as I try to unravel our very confusing story of betrayals, whatever their nature, they are part of the history and became the material with which the Committee then had such fun as it poked at our human prudery.]

7:27: pm Friday feb 3

Steph to Steve: Okay, I get it now, it was not your kids you were concerned about, it was…………. That’s why you didn’t want any sexual references in the book.

Committee: You’ve caught him a little flat-footed, Stephanie, we are laughing with you. He doesn’t know what to say so he is just sitting here with his tail between his legs looking like he swallowed a golf ball. Okay, Steve, pony up here. What’s the story? I don’t know if he is going to talk to you or not…sorry, we don’t know if he is going to talk to you or not, sometimes we go through a spokesperson and he gets a little too into his role. Okay, here’s the scoop on this one, he is such a frickin’ bastard that he was just using you, as you know, and then he wasn’t, and then he was. He couldn’t make up his mind what the fuck he wanted, or who he wanted to fuck, for that matter, and now you’ve caught him red-handed with his hand in the cookie jar. So we will let him try to explain himself once he gets his tongue back from the cat. Ha ha. This is so funny, it did take you so long to catch on, we were wondering if you would ever get that one, but of course you did. It was inevitable of course. He is such a liar. He had to be found out. [UPDATE: 2/24/17; In spite of what they said, it actually took me a full three weeks, when I came back to read this, to "get it", and when I did it was really pretty funny, although only a few will get it. Lends new meaning to the phrase "Cat got your tongue". Ha ha.]

Steve: Jesus Christ, leave me alone.

Steph: Can he do that, swear like that, use JC’s name like that?

Committee: Ha ha, he’s not swearing, JC is the one giving him a hard time.

Steph: Ha ha that is so funny.

…(break for pizza from downstairs, where my son has just brought it in)

Committee: Stephanie, we do want to talk to you about this. He is such an asshole as you know, the two-timing bastard. You are beginning to have so much fun with this, and we are glad that you are now able to laugh at these matters that previously caused you so much heart ache, and of course we don’t want you to have heart ache at this time, for your heart does not need more ache. We are monitoring you and you are well, we will be here to help you and give you guidance as needed, not just on the transition, but on your health in general. You needn’t worry, you are fine, and please release that hurt that comes up when we tell you this, what you call a fear. It is not a fear, it is a hurt, it is a pain that you are carrying around and you will understand why we say that soon enough. So let us talk about your friend, asshole Steve, who lies so much that you can’t tell which way is up. He doesn’t know either, although he is beginning to get a clue that you don’t really give a damn about …………, you can take her or leave her, and you already have. Left her that is. Left her to love as she desires with whomever she desires and if that is him, that is all right with you, and if it is someone else, that is all right with you, for we all love each other and we just find someone to love who needs to be loved and then we love that one and let all the others take care of themselves. And now, on to the big reveal, he wasn’t really afraid that ………would find out. Yes, he was afraid that …………. would find out and a few others that he tried to fuck with. The others were smarter than you two and knew something was amiss when he started getting too fresh with them. They were like, “Who do you think you are, asshole? You think you can come in and just hop into bed with the first woman you connect with astrally? Go fuck yourself.” And you are laughing because you know they were too nice to say it like that, but he got their drift. They slammed the door on him so fast that his head was spinning and he couldn’t unbend his toes for days. Now you know the rest of the story. He was so god-damned horny he just kept trying to get every woman he met to get in bed with him and some did, namely you and ……………, and that is why you are too stupid to realize that you were always the ones that he was trying to fool with so that he could be one that was the one that thought he was so smart to have all these women even after he was dead and fool everybody else who didn’t know that was possible and he didn’t know that he couldn’t really do this for then there would be too many people who figured it out and then they would think what an asshole he was and that was why he told you not to include it in the book. And that is why you are laughing, because you are thinking, “What a jerk!” and its a good thing you are already best friends or you’d throw him out on his nose, and you knew this was going on, for Susie told you, but you didn’t want to ask questions beause that might change the story and you were okay with the story and that is all right because you couldn’t change the story, you just had to take the ride. Now you know why you are too stupid to ask the right questions because then you would have gotten the wrong answers and then you would have been even more pissed when you found out the truth and at least this way you gave him the opportunity to come straight before he dug himself in too deep a hole and that means that you weren’t really that stupid or unprepared, you just wanted it to be what it was, and that is what it was. So now we are going to give Steve an opportunity to defend himself before we pass sentence, which as you know is going to be some horrible requirement that he make amends and he doesn’t want to do that because he doesn’t even know what amends are, and neither do you, so you won’t either of you know if he does it or not. So we’ll just let him tell his side of this fantasy tale. Go for it, Steve you have the floor.

Steve: Okay, stupid fucker committee or whatever you’re called. I was a stupid fucker and I was pretty messed up and why the hell are we swearing like this, just because Steph likes it? She is thinking this is funny because she is the one who wondered why the hell we are swearing and since I know all her thoughts as soon as she thinks them I threw that in there to mess with her head and buy some time to think my way out of this one. She is so damned stupid that she doesn’t realize that I wanted her to think that I was so damned nice that I didn’t want my little daughter to read about all my sexual escapades because then she would think I was some stupid fucker who was too damned horny to be claimed as her father, so that’s why I said that. It wasn’t because of ………….. or anyone else, and I do raise a point of order here that Stephanie is my wife and as for……………, death did us part, and legally she is not my wife any longer. So that should resolve the issue right there, and if it doesn’t, I do want to make the point that I was not such a terrible fucker, I think I was rather good, considering the limitations. Oh, hell, this is too damned funny to continue, I can’t believe I am defending myself in this crazy court of law that is really just a kangaroo court. You see, your honor, I am really not such a terrible fucker, and I would like to bring in some witnesses to prove it. The first one that I call to the stand is Stephanie Patel, and please put her under oath so she can’t lie, and you know that she is not a liar and always tells the truth, even when the truth is so damned funny that it cracks me up for days. So now, will you take the stand, Ma’am, and let me ask a few questions?

Steph: Is this for real?

Committee: No, but please take the stand anyway, Miss, we will consider your objections in proper order. No arguments, you are under subpoena at this moment, and we want to hear what you have to say about the allegations. Is he a stupid horseshit fucker or not?

Steph: I decline to answer on the grounds that it may incriminate me.

Committee: sorry, but in what fashion?

Steph:, I think that it might make me look like the stupid fucker, and then I’d be on trial—I mean if he is, then the same charges could be leveled against me, right?

Committee: think she has a point. Counsel?

{I see that they are referring to Thomas Jefferson, with whom I was shown a past life as Sally Hemings, his slave mistress]

Steph: Hey, how come he gets to ask me questions?

Committee: he knows all about you and about your little picadillos and he will be the best one to cross-examine you and bring out all your hidden…what shall we call them…fantasies?

Steph: I’m tiring of this game.

Committee: As are we, so stop playing like you’re some stupid naive little innocent party and own up. Is he a good fucker or not?

Steph: Sometimes.

Steve: Sometimes? She’s lying, your honor. I take offense at that remark. If she can point to a single instance when I was not a good fucker than I think we might have some grounds to let that answer stand. Otherwise I ask that it be stricken from the record and replaced with the correct answer, which is “always”.

Committee: Mr. Jobs has made a good point. Ma’am can you give us any specific facts that would enable us to determine if he was always a good fucker or sometimes a good fucker or never? This is a very delicate matter and we can’t let the record remain uncorrected if what you said is inaccurate.

….[downstairs to take something out of oven]

Okay Stephanie we are going to let you off the hook. You can step down from the witness stand Ma’am, but we are going to issue a stern reprimand to the Defendant for being such an asshole that he lies through his teeth every chance he gets. If it wasn’t for the fact that you two were such great friends we would hang him by his very big toes and let you flog him until he squealed. You are thinking we were going to make some sexual reference, and you were right. We think you should both just go and find some way to save yourselves from yourselves for you are both so stupid that you don’t even know that when you took on this gig of lovers you also took on the right to be terribly upset if either one of you didn’t think the other was the great lover that you desired him or her to be. Therefore we warn you that any further actions by either party to malign the character of the other will result in immediate dismissal from the rolls of the chamber of

Steph: Why did you stop talking?

Committee: Because we don’t want you to know what chamber it is, which is of course the bed chamber, but you were too stupid to realize this so you got ahead of us and didn’t get that word in there, which is why you are just shaking your head and saying we don’t know what we’re talking about, but we do, and there is going to be a congressional investigation into this matter if you do not take care. We are going to call it….

Steph: You stopped talking again.

Committee: That’s right, because we don’t want you to know what we’re going to call it for it is a big secret and you might go blabbing to the press when we let them know that you are too sexy to understand that you are the one that is making all this up and then you are not making it all up and then you are and that is why you are too stupid to realize that we just wanted to see if you could figure out what we were going to say, and since you couldn’t we aren’t going to tell you. You can go, blabbergate.

Steph: Okay, I am laughing…Blabbergate, huh? I didn’t blabber, I claimed the 5th.

Committee: Yes, but you are the one who brought up the fact that there was sex going on even though you didn’t put it in the book and that means there were secret liaisons going on, and that is grounds for impeachment of your position as Miss Priss. That means you’ll have to give up your title and we’ll have to find someone else who can finish out your term. When all is said and done, you’re not really so prissy are you? Miss Priss? Are you okay? We thought you fainted, you were quite overcome when we suggested that you might lose your title and then you would have to get a new one, and we were going to suggest a few. Would you like us to begin?

Steph: Uh, no thanks.

Committee: You didn’t get our joke, because we were going to suggest bladdergate which as you know, is a little joke on Watergate. And of course you know why we’re suggesting bladdergate since every time we want to just talk to you you have to get up and run to the bathroom and its getting pretty old, Miss Priss. Can’t you just hold it a little longer? Or drink less? We’re just kidding, we don’t want you to drink less, and yes, you are remembering something vaguely about this, some old joke, and you can’t quite remember what it is, and that’s because you’re too stupid to realize that we have pushed your buttons on this one before. You were so frickin’ stupid that you though we were all crowded into the bathroom every time you went in there just to see what you were going to do (as if we didn’t already know). And that made you so embarrassed you didn’t even want to talk to us, you wanted to pretend we didn’t exist, ha ha, you are too funny. Yes, that was pretty funny what Robin said, ha ha. [On a prior occasion on the subject of my privacy.] He is one funny guy. Robin, you can go now, I think we’ve got this one handled. Thanks for the one-liners, we’ll see you at the next roll call when we bring up the fact that you do not know when to keep your pants on and when to take them off, and you know what movies we’re talking about—happen to remember jiggling around in the park in the middle of the night? Stephanie remembers it and she was totally embarrassed for you—I mean, what grown man does that? She is getting a bit tired of us continuing to tell all these dirty little secrets as if everyone already doesn’t know what a total little prick you are, and what a very sexy lady she is, and that never the two shall meet. So you don’t have to worry, Stephanie, we’ll make sure that Steve takes care of you so that you can be certain that you won’t have to go the way of the one who doesn’t know when she has it good, and we mean really good. Okay, Steve that one was for you, to give your ego a little boost since we’ve been pretty hard on you. Now take this woman and get her out of our sight before she gets so tired of our ribbing that she tries to put us in the dumpster. We aren’t really worried, she is not a dumpster-dumper and we will let her go now so the two of you can go decide if there needs to be any further hearings on this matter or if you can come to an agreement on whether Steve is a good enough fucker to pass the litmus test. Yes, we were going to make some pun on litmus, but we decided not to because that was what you expected so we are just going to say, it is time to say adieu. Adieu to you, too. Bye

Steph: I love you, and you love me, and I love everyone, and Steve, too.

Committee: Yes, and we love you and you love us, and we love everyone and even Steve. Court is adjourned.

107 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

[I had not watched any of the fictionalized Steve Jobs movies, having no interest in having my experience with Steve affected. However, he asked me one day recently to watch Sorkin's Steve Jobs movie

Background: My acquaintance with Michael Jackson in spirit actually began through someone else who came to me to see if I could validate for her the experiences she was having with him. You see, I u

bottom of page