A look at a past lifetime with Thomas Jefferson from a higher perspective....

[Before even I connected with Steve, I woke up one morning to find Thomas Jefferson standing beside my bed. Okay, it wasn't TJ in the flesh, it was TJ in spirit, and I recognized him right away, but I was so flustered I couldn't focus on what he was saying. All I could get was that I had been one of his slaves, but one special to him, and that he had come to tell me I was free. I couldn't figure this out, why had he come and why he needed to tell me that, but it all made a little more sense when I connected with Steve a week later--who I couldn't recognize by appearance--and when I later learned that because of our special connection in that and other lifetimes, and his gentler energy, Thomas was able to get through to me where Steve could not yet do so. Of course I knew that Thomas had a slave mistress--I didn't remember the name, but it was Sally Hemings--although it seemed preposterous to claim that role as my own, even though it was very clear that was what he was telling me. The story developed from there, and much information was later trance channeled by Susie Grimmett, who confirmed this relationship with absolutely no information before hand. I got to thinking about Thomas as I was focused on the current political situation, a president that acts more like a dictator than otherwise, and how the people needed to remember the foundations on which this country was built. But of course, the Committee was more focused on the more prosaic elements of my relationship with Thomas.]

January 28, 2017: 11:25 a.m.

Committee: Okay, you were having some memories of your lifetime with Thomas Jefferson and you felt a resonance, as if you remembered being so connected in that lifetime that you were able to tell him some of what you have been learning in this. And that is true, you were very connected with your own essence, and that is part of what so enthralled him, that you had a very deep understanding of love and understood that everything was love. He did not understand that you were the one who was so very stupid that you thought you should just take him along with you when you went to the bathroom so that he could see what a terrible problem it was for a woman in those days, and that is why you were focused upon it when you tried to recover those memories, for this was a big thing for you. It was very simple for a man who had only to drop his drawers, but for a woman it was terrible. They had these heavy skirts and then they had their periods to confound things and it led to much unpleasant experience. He understood this after you showed him how it was and no, he was not just being a voyeur, you wanted him to understand so he could do something about it, and he did. That is why he became so interested in indoor plumbing and why you are the one that inspired this. He was content to just drop his drawers and use the chamber pot and let someone empty it out, which was usually you since he didn’t want anyone else to know that he was so human that he left behind a big turd now and then, and he is laughing his head off as we tell this for it was true, he was quite prudish in that lifetime, just like you are in this. Ha ha. So then he told you that he would look into the problem and he did and people don’t understand how much influence you had upon him in such matters. He listened to you a great deal for you were so very intelligent that you thought you were stupid and just told him what was on your mind and it was always very interesting for you didn’t know that you were so smart that you saw things others didn’t such as the fact that the children were so hungry that they were pilfering things from the pantry and he was not aware of this. He scolded the children but then he understood that they were too hungry to care and that he needed to fix this situation and so he instituted a program to make sure everyone had enough to eat and that is why you are also the reason he was so kind to them, although he thought at first you were just trying to get the children in trouble he came to understand that you were just too stupid to realize that he was so smart that he would catch on and he did. You were the stupid one for you thought he was going to just scold the children and then you could just feed them from your own plate and he wouldn’t even notice, but he did notice and he felt sorry for you and for them that this was the way it was. He took some time to be as good a man as he could although this was not easy for he was too stubborn as well, he wanted to be the one who was always being good and you know where that goes. And so he would become very despondent when he was trying to be so good and others were being cruel and now you understand why this was so stupid. One day you told him that he should just take some of the food from the leftovers and let the children feast on it and he thought this was a good idea so he did. This was as much kindness as you could get out of him for your own chldren for he was not one to think much about it, he just thought everything would be okay if he turned a blind eye to the problem. You were too stupid to know that he thought you were the one who was only half-witted, when in fact you were the one that was so smart that you knew exactly what you were doing. He thought you were a little addled from all that black blood in your body and you knew he was too addled from being such a horseshit asshole all the time. He was pretty cruel at times and you don’t know whether to believe this or not for we have led you on so many times and it doesn’t matter in the end, for we are all very cruel to each other, even you. You are so cruel that you think he was not smart enough to know that you were so stupid that you would even take your own stupid work that you did in the middle of the night and try to sell it to help your own children to survive. He thought you were just selling it so he could be the one who told you that you were too stupid to realize that all you had to do was ask for his help. If he had realized that you were just doing it to help your children and not because you wanted to hurt him, he would just have said, “God damn it Sally, why the fuck don’t you let me help you? You are so damned arrogant that I don’t know what to do, I want to pull my hair out, and instead I just act like a piss poor lover and let you take all the hardship and I take all the glory and we are two mother-fucking stupid assholes to treat each other this way.” You are laughing for you know it is true and you made many excuses for his behaviors and the truth of the matter is that he also made many excuses for his behavior and still he wanted to be with you and hold you in his arms for he loved you very much and just wanted to be the one you loved so that he could feel so very safe in your arms when all around him everything was so very difficult to understand. He wanted to be the one that could whisper sweet nothings in your ear all night and you were the one that wanted to be able to take his hand and lead him into the back yard and say, “Look, you fucker, look at what you are doing to my poor stupid people, who don’t even know how stupid they are to let you be the cause of their suffering. Why don’t you go fuck yourself and leave me alone?” And now you are laughing again for you get the point. You are so very funny to have thought that he was the one that

was the cause of their suffering when he was the cause of his own suffering and yes, he is laughing, for he knows that you get it now, that he was just a stupid fucker, just like Steve, who couldn’t get his head on straight and you had his number. He was always the one that thought he was so smart and he knows now that he was too stupid to realize that you were the smart one, for you knew that he was too stupid to realize that you were both too stupid to know what the hell you were doing together when he would’t even acknowledge you in public. You were so stupid you thought you had to suffer so he would know that he was loved by you and he was so stupid to think you had to suffer so he would know that he was loved by you, and all the time the truth was that you both loved each other and just wanted the other one to be happy and you made a real fucking mess of that lifetime for you didn’t even realize that you still are the ones who don’t know that you didn’t even know enough to say “I love you” to each other every day, and we don’t give a damn if it was considered appropriate or not, you were the ones who got to decide. All you had to do was say “I love you” each day to the other and everything would have been all right. The sun would have gotten up, the birds would still sing, the moon would float across the sky, and the world would revolve. And then you would know that you were loved and that you were love and that you could love one another regardless of what color of skin you had or where you came from or when you were going to leave. You would have realized that this was all that mattered and now you can tell Thomas you are so very sorry that you didn’t tell him you loved him even though he would have been so shocked he would have dropped his drawers. He was the one that didn’t know you loved him, he was so stupid he thought you were just with him because he was the one who told you that he loved you and wanted to be with you but he didn’t know how it could ever happen and so you would just have to be his slave so he could be your master and that was all there was to it. And so you were and so he never got to know that you loved him for how can you ever know if another loves you when you are the master and she is the slave? This was the fundamental error in his thinking, that he was protecting you by making you be his slave while he was the master and it doesn’t matter if he was a pig-headed chauvenistic asshole slaveholder, he loved you and you loved him and together the two of you created so many beautiful children that their legacy continues to this day and you should be very proud of your part in this story, for you were the one he loved so much that he let himself be castigated even in the press and allowed you to be the one who was protected so that he could be the one who loved you and not some other man who might have been nicer to you, for you were so beautiful that many men were willing to take you as their wife, even men who would have freed you to be as beautiful in your soul as you were in your body. He was the one who kept you captive so he could be the one who loved you and you loved him and that’s all there is to it. He was an ordinary man and you were an ordinary woman and you loved each other and nothing else matters, for you are still an ordinary woman and he is still an ordinary man and you still love each other, and he is smiling for he knows that now you understand that he wasn’t so great and you weren’t so stupid to think that he was. You always knew that he was just the man you loved and whatever else went on in that fool head of yours was just so much garbage to be thrown out with the slop. You were the one who never said “I love you” for you were the one that cried so hard when he was all alone and bankrupt and broken hearted that he thought you were too good for him. He was the one that loved you so much that he only wanted to spare you the pain of seeing him in his debilitated state and you were the one who loved him so much that you would not leave his bedside. And this is the story of a true love that others cannot comprehend, that it matters not what we do to each other, or how hateful we would be, we always love one another and we always want others to love us and we are all trying to find some reason to belong. We all belong, we all love each other, and you are so precious to us that we would give you a hug if you would let us. Group hug!!!!!! That is Robin, you were right....

[I am going to break here, for the Committee goes on at some length as the conversation evolves into something having to do with Robin. Ha ha.]